Have you ever experienced a situation where you felt:
• Misunderstood – You explain your point of view and someone else goes on a completely different tangent from what you are saying. You feel: Invalidated.
• Judged – You drive to a meeting and a fellow colleague comments on how your car ‘needs a bit of work.’ You take this as a personal attack; why should the state of your car matter? You feel: Hurt.
• Disrespected – You organize a meeting, set the time and place, and make all the arrangements and detailed planning. At the last minute, your boss decides not to go because he can. You feel: Unsupported and shunned.
• Not affirmed or acknowledged – You are the one who came early and stayed late each day to complete a rush project; in fact, you got it done under budget and on time. Your boss does not even thank you and actually takes the credit! You feel: Angry and overlooked.
Did you know that these four types of situations are what cause most of us to conjure up some emotional resistance to what is going on?
What do you do with these feelings?
1. Bottle them up so tightly that you stop feeling altogether?
• This is okay to survive, but not to ultimately thrive.
• We end up by going numb.
• We block out the fear, anger, frustration and pain.
• And we end up blocking out the good feelings of pleasure, joy and love as well.
Or, do you:
2. Leak out your frustration in destructive ways?
• This is common for those who want to protect our co-workers, friends and family from our problem.
• We act as if everything is okay and even put on a happy face, but….
• All is takes is for the TV to be too loud or the garbage to be overflowing in the staff room for us to blow up and display bitter or sarcastic behavior.
• We may even pick a fight to channel our frustrations.
Knowing what you do with your feelings (awareness) is important in order for you to:
1. Identify how you come across to others and
2. Understand how you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually handle your emotions to determine who you want to be.